Dear Adina, We just found out that my son is allergic to about 10 different foods. He is really upset about it. He keeps on saying” Why can’t I eat it?”, ” I hate allergies!” “Why do these bad things happen to me?”, “I am so unlucky I can’t eat anything I want to.” I […]
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Is your child constantly losing things? Does your child have trouble remembering to bring his books home from school? Is your child always searching for that elusive homework sheet? Does he/she constantly lose pens, pencils and other school supplies? Does their book bag look like a disaster area? Some people are born organized and have no trouble […]
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Carol Dweck, a leading psychologist at Columbia University advises parents to stop praising children for their innate intelligence. When we tell children, “you are so smart”, “you are so bright”, “you are best at math” we are doing a great disservice. In documented studies, children praised in this way, have a hard time performing well […]
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Hi! We have an issue that we need help solving. My wife has seen and read your articles and enjoys your writing and feels you have good things to say. We are parents of a 3-year old boy and 9 month old girl. The reason for our letter is our strong willed child. We love […]
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Children and teens often have conflicting emotions. Managing their emotions may overwhelm them. Temper tantrums, bad moods, slammed doors and arguments can result. It is helpful to teach kids to recognize and voice their feelings in appropriate ways. One of those ways is to introduce them to the sophisticated notion of experiencing two feelings at […]
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In our class on positive reinforcement we discussed ways that we can boost our child’s self-esteem. The Moms in the class decided to write their children a note. They would describe all the positive things the child had done that day. Here are two examples of the notes that were written to their school aged […]
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In order to foster resilience in our children we need to have the right parenting philosophy. We need to be clear what our goals are for our children and what are job is as parents. Our main objective as parents should be to teach our children enough life skills so that they can manage one […]
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Recently, there have been a number of new scientific studies discussing ways to help people find “authentic happiness”. Researchers report that, “utilizing one’s strengths correlates with greater creativity, productivity, and excellence – all ingredients of professional and career success. On the personal side, maximizing the use of personal strengths yields greater happiness and feelings of […]
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What’s the absolute best way to connect with your kids? Use Empathy! When we are empathetic with our children we truly show our children that we care and we “get them.” Enter into their world: Empathy is a fundamental “people skill.” Just saying, “I understand how you feel” is not enough. Empathy means entering the […]
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We all remember the times where we laughed so hard we almost cried. There is no better way to connect with others. Family and friends bond over a good laugh. Not only that, it is now a known fact, laughter is the best medicine. Researchers have found that laughter: Lowers blood pressure Reduces stress hormones […]
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Why this abundance of parenting books and classes? Are we doing it all wrong? Is our generation different then previous generations? Why isn’t love enough anymore? Modern parents are facing challenges that were unheard of 50, 60 years ago. Technology has developed so quickly in the past 100 years we can hardly stop for a […]
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It is often lamented that children are misbehaving more and more. Whining, tantrums, back talk are the norm. Parents are often at a loss on how to manage their children’s negative behavior and struggle to set limits and stick to their rules. Most adults would agree that they are uncomfortable asserting authority in their home […]
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The key to reinforcing good behavior in children is to “look for the good.” Train yourself to see good even in the little things your child does. Mention it to them in a neutral and gentle manner. According to Jewish thought “One good deed leads to another good deed.” That is true in […]
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Jeffrey Froh a professer from Hofstra University ran a study on how to increase gratitude and unselfish behavior in junior high and high school students. He based this study on the work of Robert Emmons of the University of California. Emmons had college students write a gratitude journal everyday. Emmon’s study was a success. Most […]
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Every parent messes up. We say things we don’t mean. We yell at our kids because we are tired. We sometimes blame our children for things they never did. We may accuse our children of behaving badly when that was never their intention. We act in a way that we swore we would never act. […]
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I just attended a highly informative and eye-opening lecture given by Philip Rosenthal, Computer and Internet Safety Expert. Back in the 1990’s, when the internet was just starting to become popular, Rosenthal designed and implemented the Computer Crime Unit for the Rockland County Sheriff’s Department, tracking and arresting computer based child abusers. As internet use […]
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I am having a hard time with my 7 year old daughter. Yesterday was particularly difficult. I made her a beautiful birthday party with the exact cake that she wanted. She has very generous...
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Meeting life’s challenges with calmness is a value that can be taught to children. The little annoyances in life, not being able to find the right outfit, a broken zipper, misplaced keys are easier to manage when we are relaxed. Reacting with equilibrium to small frustrations trains your mind for the big stuff, helping you […]
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Everyone needs their feelings to be accepted and heard, and that includes children and adolescents. Although I do not advocate treating our children as friends, I will make an exception in this case and say, when our children are upset and frustrated we should try to listen to them the way we would listen to […]
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Teens are in a stage where they are trying to individuate. A teenager needs to separate from his/her parents and become their own independent person. Teens seem to live by the principle of “You can’t tell me what to do!” This is a natural result of their struggle to find themselves. They relay this message […]
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